Make the shoe fit!

I remember the first time I applied for a higher position in our company. I recall saying to myself that I'll only do it for fun. In fact, I just wanted to experience how it was to apply - how it was to be grilled by the other bosses. Yeah, I got what I wanted - just plain experience.

I knew I wasn't going to be accepted. I was just out of nesting back then. Just a few weeks after being regularized. I don't suppose they'll hire a fresh college grad with no previous work experience to handle a team - lead, inspire, devote.

But then the interview took place. It was more than I could have ever imagined. There were questions that were out of this world. Maybe because the interviewers themselves seem to be from beyond this earth. Haha. And then it hit me, I could really do this job.

So there I was, confident- thinking I did well. Heck, better than the applicants who were much older than I was. Still, I kept telling everyone that I know I'm not going to be promoted. Yet, deep down... deep, deep down, my heart whispers its desires. I aspired to be a team leader.

Then there it was. The day they announced who the new team leader was. Of course it wasn't me. Why would they entrust me of such position? I know I was ready for the responsibility, but was I ready to mingle with this new clique?

Months have passed and there I was - bored beyond measure. I don't know why I'm still there, taking calls. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. There came a point where I developed an annoyance of what I do. The days and months drifted away mocking me of my robotic existence. I wasn't challenged anymore. But then again, even as doors opened up every now and then, I did nothing. I was no longer interested in applying for anything. It seemed like it was a dead end for me.

Outside the company, opportunities kept on knocking. At first, I hurried to them with glee. Yet, something seems to be not working for me. I drag my feet to interviews and exams. I wanted to do everything. I wanted to write, to teach, to excel. But the minute an offer comes within my grasp, I feel a longing to postpone it.

Then there it was, during my most mundane shift. I was walking around the floor thinking of something to liven up my work. I went to my then team leader to ask her for any updates. Nothing new there.

Then there he was, the account's trainer, asking me to pass a resume and an internal application. It seems like they were looking for applicants when my previous team leader (which is now to become Manager) recommended me for the job. No problem. I filled out the form for a new "ride".

I felt excited. Another application. A chance to stimulate my brain and show them what I got. I just wish this time, the challenge was worth the effort. The next day after filing my application, the trainer approached my station 2 hours before my shift ends asking me till what time I'll be taking calls.

Umm, 6am...

Good, you'll have a demo by 6am.

Ahh, okay...

Training room 2, boracay

tug... tug... thug... thug... dug, dug, dug, dug... my heart was raising as hell... What can I possibly demo about? God, God, God... With a 15minute break left before my demo, I was able to conjure a presentation about ta-dah! PRIVATIZING PRISONS - not the most enticing subject in the world but what the hell...

Oh, and did I mention? It was my birthday then... Happy Birthday to me...

Days passed and I heard nothing from them. How did it go, how did it go? Argh, I'm going to lose my mind for sure.

...to be continued...