am i on track?

i wonder where i'd be months from today.
by then, i'll be fresh out of college.
idealistic. romantic. progressive.

exhausted but with inexhausted resources.
i.e. ending almost 15 years of school,
and yet to use those honed skills into play.

not just that.
i wonder where i'd be emotionally.
will i mature - maybe so.
but then it never fails to screw things up,
with a little tongue sticking out.

at times it frightens me.
i have nothing at hand.
i have plans. sure i do. lots of them in fact.
but then, i'm not standing on solid ground here.

what i'm saying is that, 15 years of solid education.
and after all those years of journey,
i realized that i still don't know where i'm headed to.

my destination.
do i have one?

honestly? i'm just making this as i go.

and looking at my made up map,
all i see is a myriad of pitstops.